![]() ![]() I have said to some parents, “Your child doesn’t need to go to school tomorrow. You do it for a 5-year-old, you do it for a 2-year-old, and you do it for an 18-year-old. I need your help.” When this happens, the child needs time-in. He is essentially saying, “Mom, Mom, Mom, Dad, Dad, Dad, I don’t know what to do right now. When your child is misbehaving, he is communicating to you in this way because he doesn’t know how to communicate in words. Their stress and fear cannot be maintained any longer, and it explodes through that window of tolerance to a state of dysregulation, which causes the behavior. When children act out, they’re demonstrating that they’ve gone outside of their window of tolerance. You bring them in you don’t put them out. What they need in those moments is not to put their nose in a corner. The time-out paradigm says, “Children act out for attention therefore, you give them some time out to think about their behavior.” The time-in paradigm says, “Children act out because they need attention.” Therefore, you address this by bringing them close to you to regulate their fear and stress. Children act out because they need attention. ![]() The first truth to recognize is that children don’t act out for attention. Time-in is essentially the opposite of time-out. Excerpt from The Great Behavior Breakdown by Bryan Post ![]()
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